you know what really gets me, in my life when it rains it doesn't pour, it freaking monsoons. I feel like garbage, everything that makes me happy literally falls apart, and it happens like every few months. And then I see something, and I feel like I take so much for granted, and then it makes me feel worse. Someone I knew, someone my aunt used to date on occasion, someone i talked to came into the bar last night, after going through chemo and radiation for a month, and no one, not myself, my aunt the bartender, the normals, no one recognized him. He looked like a totally different man, who aged about 20-30 years almost overnight to me, and then everything came crashing down for me. How could i be so upset over my life. This man has cancer and he can still be joyful about life and living right now, and on top of that he lost his mother while his treatments were going on. I just feel like garbage. The one thing that always made me happy, constantly makes me crazy. I don't know what to think. I don't understand why people have to play mind games, i def. don't understand stupid ex girlfriends who constantly get in the middle, like seriously its been over for a long time get over it. I mean I haven't even read magazines, or researched any type of photography i'm lost in a rainy cloud. I really need some sunshine.